How Martial Arts Gave Me A Better Path

I was thinking about a question I was asked the other day by a fellow aikidoka. She was a young, pretty, red haired woman, new to the school, but seemed like she was the kind who was ready to jump in and prove to herself that this is where she wanted to be. After a few quick chats on the mat as training partners, we started having some real conversions, particularly at the end of class while helping clean up and put away the equipment.

“So, why do you like martial arts?” she asked in a chipper, sing-song voice that often comes with such youth.

It’s something I looked back on a few times already, but now I figured I’d share my story and, hopefully, if someone now relates to my past, maybe they’ll find my same contentment with their future.

I was about 34 years old when I started. A bit advanced in years, but what I lacked in physical stamina, I made up for enthusiasm, or so I told myself. It was one of those things I always said I would do…maybe next year. With my managerial job as my focus, next year became next decade. So, one decade and one clogged artery scare later, I found myself walking into a dojo.

Looking back, I see that as one of the biggest turning points of my life. It was like switching off autopilot and taking the controls of your existence. Growing up, I took my validation from the usual places, friends, parents and school. Then, as I entered the workforce, my job was my validation and my focus. I still had family and friends, but lost out on way too many fun events while putting together the perfect purchase order that reflected who I was to the company.

In my mind, I was a studious worker who showed them what I had and why I was worthy of that next 5% pay raise in June. The reality was I had become just another guy sitting in front of my computer with a fast food dinner and a beer at my side who worked late into the night. The next thing I know, I’m walking sluggishly into the office with no memory of my hour long commute.

Eventually, stress, lack of sleep and one too many microwave burritos took their toll. Shakiness, dizziness and one doctor’s office visit later, and it was time for a change. It’s not a particularly unique story, but then, I hadn’t become a particularly unique individual.

That’s when martial arts entered the picture. Not wanting to add to my physical health issues right off the bat, I started looking at tai chi or aikido for some softer styles. Aikido became my path. Finally, realizing the chance I had to do what I put off every year became a major upset to my routine, and I loved it.

Nights were no longer about reports and HR forms. They were about techniques and forms of movement. No longer was I dreading the traffic on the way home because, now, I was taking a new route where I’d be using my body to move as nature intended.

A better diet wasn’t just a luxury anymore, but a requirement. It was necessary if I wanted keep up with the rest of the class. Of course, I didn’t just want to keep up, I wanted to keep improving. The validation I sought from my job was now coming from where it should have all along, from me.

Finally, those lonely nights were filled with socializing as well, even if it had more to do with spinning your opponent on to the ground. It was an opportunity to work yourself to exhaustion, then reward yourself with a good night’s sleep. Something I didn’t realize I needed for so long.

So, to that young, pretty, red haired woman, I could honestly state that I like martial arts because it gave me a better path in life. One I’m happy to take because it puts everything else in perspective.